Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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