i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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