I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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