yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
