I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
