I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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