i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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