I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
