Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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