What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
