Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
