i just google imaged poop.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sobbing to NWA
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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