Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize