Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
