I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
