Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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