Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
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I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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