So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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