Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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