Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
