I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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