I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
