My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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