Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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