and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
