idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
