he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
