I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
