BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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