I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
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I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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