Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize