you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
