Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
