I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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