I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
