My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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