In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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