i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
