11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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