i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize