I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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