OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
