:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
