if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
