if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
