i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
