the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
