Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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