Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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