areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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