matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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