then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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