"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
