He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize