im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
