If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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