Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Success! We fucked roommates!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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