I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
