I don't think brook has ever known best
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
